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Customer Relations - the lighter side...
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Author:  Chris Pile [ Fri May 20, 2011 3:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Customer Relations - the lighter side...
OK - let's hear some of your stories about dealing with the public!

I used to have tons of kids hanging out in my shop. Some of the most frequent questions I got were...
(1) What is the best wood for a guitar?
(2) What is the best pickup for a guitar?
I alway responded with "What is the best peanut butter?". They would answer, "Whatever brand tastes best to you". My comeback - "And now you know.....".

Had a young jazzer come in one day, and wanted a wireless volume control for his guitar. I said it was possible, but not cheap. Then he informed me he wanted the volume control to fit in his mouth, and for the volume to increase when he bit down harder, and ease up when he unclenched his jaw. I told him it was still possible, but not likely. Either way - I wasn't the man for the job.

One of the kids taking lessons in the store brought me his cheapo Les Paul copy and informed me it needed to have "an aperture adjustment". I tweaked the truss rod and he went away happy.

Another came in and wanted me to install a "screaming bar" on his plywood nightmare.
I told him a screaming bar would cost more than his guitar, and that my installation charge would cost more than his amp.

A student's parent (a doctor) once asked me why they couldn't tune the guitars at the factory so they would stay put. I asked him if he changed tires on his Caddy when they wore out.

I could go on forever - but now it's time for ya'll to sing out!
Author:  David Newton [ Fri May 20, 2011 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
I could do a million, but I'm only going to do this one.

Had a customer bring his junk classical guitar which had many ills for a "restoration" braces reglued, bridge reglued, neck somehow straightened/reset, though it was a spanish foot construction. Many more ills than that. I told him it would cost 10 time what it was worth, but he was adamant that it had so much sentimental value he would pay.
The guitar was stuffed with old strings, every time he would change strings, he would stuff the old ones inside. I pulled them all out to do the repairs, and I tossed the strings. It must have been Tuesday and the garbage truck came and took them away.

I finished all the repairs, called the man, he came, and pitched a "holy fit" that I had thrown away the old strings. They were a treasure to him! He made such a stink about the strings, he demanded a big discount on the repair. I'm pretty sure he was looking for any issue to contest the quote, after the fact. I can't remember if I gave him a cost reduction, I've blotted it out of my mind, but from then on, if someone had a junk guitar that was "sentimental" in value, I made sure to up the cost to cover my rear.
Author:  woody b [ Fri May 20, 2011 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
I was approached by a client about a build who I had done repairs for in the past. We talked woods, scale length, ect and I gave him a price. He kept calling me wanting a discount because he plays in this popular local band. I kept nicely telling him I couldn't cut the price any. Finally he caught me in "one of my moods" and ask about a discount because he's a really good player. I told him, (I play pretty d----- good myself, but I have to pay my full price for my power bill every month. Since then I've built 2 guitars for this guy, and he's in line for another............with no discount.
Author:  Chris Pile [ Fri May 20, 2011 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
David - I understand completely. Someone brought in an old Harmony archtop once that had "been in the family for generations" for a complete restoration. When I quoted my price the guy said I could have it. I sold it a year later for $20.

Woody - something similar. Guy in a popular local metal band came in with $1000 cash and wanted to me drop everything and build him a guitar from scratch RIGHT THEN! I told him there were at least 30 jobs ahead of him, and that he didn't have enough money anyway. He pitched a fit, cursed me out - and told all his friends how I "done him wrong". Didn't seem to hurt my bottom line.
Author:  Nils [ Fri May 20, 2011 7:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
guy walks into the shop with an sg in a coffin case...sg has skull knobs for the tone/volume pots.

"hey, I need a new nut."
my boss - "we usually make them out of bone."
"bone??"
Author:  David LaPlante [ Fri May 20, 2011 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
A friend of mine in NH has a store where a customer once asked for a guitar with "them Humbucket pickups", and to go along with it he wanted a good amp with "Extortion"..................
Cat Fox tells a hilarious story about an aging hippie type who walked in and wanted his old and extremely grungy guitar repaired......the repairs were done and she even took the extra effort to carefully clean it up and polish it.
When the guy saw it he was crestfallen crying "That was WOODSTOCK DIRT!!!!"
He sadly gathered up the rags she had used from her trash can plus the guitar and left.
Author:  alan stassforth [ Fri May 20, 2011 9:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
Great thread!
Keep it going.
Many people pick up one of my lap steel guitars,
and say
"wow!, the action is really high.
This is really hard to play!".
Author:  Chris Pile [ Fri May 20, 2011 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
Quote:
Many people pick up one of my lap steel guitars,
and say "wow!, the action is really high.
This is really hard to play!".


An old fella was playing a 335, testing out one of our amps. He was a string bending fool, reminded me of Roy Buchanan or Amos Garrett. One of the kids waiting for his lesson asked, "Are those light strings?". Said the geezer in a guttural southern drawl, "Yup. Purty light. 14's".

Kids jaw hits the floor.
Author:  pvg [ Sat May 21, 2011 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
This may be a little off the track, but not that far... This happened several years back when my jazz quintet was playing a small, country hotel lounge up in northern California. Let me warn you that there is a significant degree of "chauvinism" in this story, but I come from a time when chauvinism was considered a virtue ;)
During a break, this gal and her husband came over to me and the gal said, "That's a beautiful guitar ya got there; any chance my grampa could take a look at it?" This was my then brand new Steve Andersen archtop. I said, "yeah, sure." So they proceeded to help Grampa- who was easily in his 80s, and could barely stand without assistance- out onto the porch where he could sit on a bench and check out my new "baby."
Gramps looked it over appreciatively, strummed a few chords from a Merle Travis tune, and was enjoying himself.
The granddaughter says to me, "Grampa has a thing for nice guitars." To which Grampa responded with a grin, "Yeah, fine git-tars and good lookin' women!!"
I laughed and laughed; a man after my own heart!! :lol:
Just goes to show; ya ain't never too old to appreciate the finer things in life!
cheers
pvg
Author:  jason c [ Sat May 21, 2011 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Customer Relations - the lighter side...
We had a customer at the shop were I used to work that had an old Crestwood guitar that needed a bunch of work. When he got it back he was furious that we had destroyed the beautiful tone that it once had. After a lot of tweaking and head scratching we finally figured out the guy just hated the sound of new strings. It takes all kinds. I have more stories to add as time allows.
Author:  Chris Pile [ Sat May 21, 2011 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
Had a country player bring in his Yamaha 335 copy, said it wouldn't stay in tune. Several of the guys hanging out tried it, and it was beautiful. Upon the owners return, I asked him to play a little for me. The guy fretted so hard his knuckles turned white! I pointed out that he was making the strings go sharp, and suggested he ease up with his left hand. He was quite indignant with me (I know how to play, dangit!), but finally relented to have the frets ground down about halfway.
Author:  David Newton [ Sat May 21, 2011 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
I was carving an "A" style mandolin top as my sister-in-law was watching, and she asked "why don't you start with it already in the shape you want it?".
I was speechless.
Author:  Chris Pile [ Sat May 21, 2011 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Customer Relations - the lighter side...
Quote:
I was carving an "A" style mandolin top as my sister-in-law was watching, and she asked "why don't you start with it already in the shape you want it?".
I was speechless.


Does someone dial the phone for her when she wants to talk?
(I know, I'm being mean)
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