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The following quote remindes me of a luthier joke I heard.

"If guitarmaking is allowed in heaven, that's where I want to go. Otherwise, well at least the wood is probably dry."

One day an evangelist was lamenting that it was very difficult to bring luthier's into the fold. When things were going well, they had no need for heaven. When things were going wrong, they had no fear of hell.

Then there is the old joke about the luthier who won the lottery. when asked what he was going to do he replied that he was going to build guitars till the money ran out.

How many luthiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but he'll have to make a jig for it first.

These are very gook
I used to practice law. Heard lots of jokes. Feel free but iv'e probably heard of it. I would much rather be the butt of luthier jokes!

[QUOTE=John Kinnaird] Then there is the old joke about the luthier who won the lottery. when asked what he was going to do he replied that he was going to build guitars till the money ran out.[/QUOTE]

That shouldn't take long!

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Q: What's the easiest way to become a millionaire as a
    luthier?

A: Start out as a multi-millionaire.

Don Williams38418.6903009259

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"I want to know what kind of pickups Vince Gill uses in his Tele, because if I had those, as good of a player as I am, I'm sure I could make it sound like that.
Only badly."

Something you'll never hear at a bluegrass fetival....

"Thats the banjo players Porsche"

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Don Atwood
Arlington, VA

There are more banjo jokes than there are jokes.

What is the difference between a luthier and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

So one day the immortal soul of the great Stradivari shows up at the pearly gates. All the angels go out to talk about harps and strings and varnish, while St. Peter punches up the data base to see where to send him, and finds no instruction. All the guy ever did was make fiddles. So, on the one hand, he never did anything bad enough to warrent eternal damnation, but on the other hand, he never did anything much to advance his spiritual state either. Higher Authority is appealed to, and the instruction comes down to show him the alternatives and give him his choice.

An angel is delegated to take him around heaven, and it's pretty neat. Finally, at the end of the tour, they come to a little low building with lots of windows that turns out to be a violin shop, all ready to go. "See", says the angel, "If you come here you can have this shop, where you can work to perfect that craft to which you so devoted your life. Whenever a great violinist comes to heaven, they will play your violins. Your violins will be played in the heavenly choir before the throne of God, what more could you want?"

Well, Strad was a good business man: the last luthier to die rich, and he's not going to shake on it until he's heard the counter offer. So down to hell he goes, and it's grim. Finally he and the devil get to a quiet corner of Hell that's not all that hot, and there's a little low building with lots of windows: a violin shop, just like the other one! "See" says the devil, "Everything they've got we've got, and I can offer you two things they can't. For one thing, you know how violinists are: we'll see a lot more good ones down here than they ever will. But, more importantly, you know that the violin is the devils' instrument; I can _tell_ you all the secrets of violin making, you won't have to labor through eternity to figure them out!"

Well, who could pass on that. Strad shakes hands with the devil, and in 45 minutes he's told him everything he didn't already know about violin making. When the devil stops Strad is sitting there scratching his head. "Is something wrong? Did I leave something out" says Old Scratch. "No" says Strad, "Not exactly. But I'm wondering: it's no hotter here than Cremona in the summer, I've got this nice shop, all these great players are going to play my instruments, and you've told me all of the secrets: why is this Hell?" The devel shrugs and says, "No wood"

I got that one from Tom Knatt.

   What is perfect pitch? When a bagpipe is tossed into the dumpster and lands on a banjo

Why is a cello better than a violin?
It burns longer

How do you make a luthiers car more airodynamic ?    Take the pizza delivery sigh off the roof

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a banjo?


A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

This does not apply to me, But could.

It has been said that young luthiers know only two viable means of support......Spruce bracing and girlfriends MichaelP38418.9156712963

I have an alternate ending to Mike's joke:

How many luthiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... but it will take him all day.

Steve

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From Nacogdoches...the oldest town in Texas.

http://www.stephenkinnaird.com

[QUOTE=MichaelP] This does not apply to me, But could.

It has been said that young luthiers know only two viable means of support......Spruce bracing and girlfriends [/QUOTE]

michael... I can vouch for truthfulness here, if i didn't have cute girls feeding me, I'd need a real job! Also, if I didn't have cute girls feeding me, i'd have no inspiration ;)

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Instagram: @jfrenchluthier
Web: https://www.jfrenchguitars.com/

[QUOTE=Steve Kinnaird] I have an alternate ending to Mike's joke:

How many luthiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... but it will take him all day.

Steve[/QUOTE]

The one I've always heard.... (not terribly funny, but why not) How many Luthiers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 7. One to screw the bulb in, and 6 to explain how they'd have done it differently or more efficiently.

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Instagram: @jfrenchluthier
Web: https://www.jfrenchguitars.com/

I'll drag out the old banjo standby

What's the best kind of pickup to put on a banjo

Ford F150

I don't think the banjo will ever recover from the film 'Deliverance", certainly not over here where it was very marginal anyway. Shame I used to enjoy a bit of frailing.

ColinColin S38419.4931481481

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I don't believe in anything, I simply make use of a set of reasonable working hypotheses.

Colin--a banjo has got to be one of your next projects. I'd love to see how you would decorate a resonator.

SteveSteve Kinnaird38419.634837963

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From Nacogdoches...the oldest town in Texas.

http://www.stephenkinnaird.com

Another vote here for Colin's new banjo (minus the F150)...

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Instagram: @jfrenchluthier
Web: https://www.jfrenchguitars.com/

OK Steve, Joshua, I'll build the fanciest carved and pierced resonator banjo, with the biggest most complicated rose pattern ever when I see Joshua's finished Torres #FE08. Now that really would be worth seeing! I'd even fly out to Houston to get my hands on it!!

Colin

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I don't believe in anything, I simply make use of a set of reasonable working hypotheses.

ha! Well... I'm going to resaw the birdseye maple for it sometime tomorrow... When I make something for myself it takes me about a year. For that one, I plan on having the rosette inlaid in about a years time... (I do have one about half as ornate going though)

For anyone who doesn't know what that Torres looks like... you can't really make out the inlays on there, but its pretty incredible:


Edit: Forgot to mention Colin, I'll be surely taking you up on that, so you better find some nice Brazilian for the bowl back! jfrench38421.6819791667

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Instagram: @jfrenchluthier
Web: https://www.jfrenchguitars.com/

[QUOTE=Colin S] OK Steve, Joshua, I'll build the fanciest carved and pierced resonator banjo, with the biggest most complicated rose pattern ever when I see Joshua's finished Torres #FE08. Now that really would be worth seeing! I'd even fly out to Houston to get my hands on it!!

Colin[/QUOTE]

OK--if you can fly over, I can certainly drive down!
Bring the banjo with you, for sure.

_________________
From Nacogdoches...the oldest town in Texas.

http://www.stephenkinnaird.com