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Help… I think I’m beginning to get ill.
http://w-ww.luthiersforum.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10102&t=6825		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  Philip Perdue [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:00 am ]
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It dawned on me the other day that something has happened to me since I have been a member here at OLF. I was in my local big box store and from half an aisle away I spied a piece of figured maple in the middle of all the plain maple. My pace quickened as I made my way to the display and quickly dug the suspect maple out. All four sides displayed either figure or silkiness and I admired how beautiful it was. As I had it in my hand I was trying to figure what I could do with it. Build a laminated neck, make bindings, a rosette, or maybe even a jewelry box for my wife. Suddenly it hit me that I have started to meander through all kinds of wood lately and inspecting piece after piece looking for quarter sawn or figured woods that have been thrown in with the average wood. Remembering that I am a wood working dork who has few skills and even less space it hit me. I have the first symptoms of wood acquisition syndrome. Fortunately, I may have caught it early enough to get some help before it becomes compulsive and irreversible. I should have realized sooner that I was on this path and could have sought help earlier. Now I understand that I was exposed to a carrier who must have passed it on to me. Beware of contact with Bob C. at RCtonewoods since that is where I think I caught it. My plan to build a kit guitar for my Father went awry after seeing the beautiful figured bubinga and the lutz tops. Bob seemed so nice but look at me now. I just thought that I would share my situation and I will do my best to overcome the wood acquisition syndrome. I know some of you may be beyond help but bringing it into the open will help you realize the problem.

Best of Luck

Philip
konacat38860.7153819444
Author:  John How [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:08 am ]
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Yeah by the time you realize though, it's just too late. That Maple was certainly a symtom but it just shows that your already afflicted. An there jus ain't no pill ya can take cept the bitter one.
Author:  Mattia Valente [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:16 am ]
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Dude, forget it. You're long, long lost to WAS.
Author:  burbank [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:21 am ]
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[QUOTE=konacat] before it becomes compulsive and irreversible.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, Philip, Philip,

Don't you worry about a thing. That's a typical reaction to the early stages of an appreciation of fine wood. You might want to try look at it as "focused" and "developing" rather than "compulsive and irreversible".

This feeling will pass and you will then be able to enjoy this pursuit with complete abandon, free of the guilt you might be experiencing right now.
Author:  Michael Dale Payne [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:33 am ]
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Philip I thought I had surely found the cure. And when it arrived in the mail yesterday, and I opened the package. You can't imagine the disappointment I experienced when I view this, only to find my fever spiked...And Bob promised this was the fix...now we know what he means by FIX
Author:  Andy Zimmerman [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:38 am ]
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As a physician I have researched W.A.S. extensively.
Currently I have 3 NIH grants devoted to this debilitating syndrome. I
have 4 post docs and a full time lab studying this syndrome.
Despite many extensive trials, nothing can cure it. I feel that my research
has been a bit of a failure. Despite years of research, very little progress
has been made. Soon I hope to gain on this horrible disease.
To date I have found only 2 helpful treatments.

1. Finish building guitars and get the wood out of the house.
2. The most useful treatment is to send me all of your Zoot.

By donating your Zoot to me, I can help find a cure for this disease.
Without all of your Zoot, the research will never lead to a cure.

Respectfully
Andrew Zimmerman, M.D.
Director W.A.S. Research Labs.
Author:  Serge Poirier [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:45 am ]
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Bob is also known as one heck of a pusher, i didn't get any fix from him yet but i'm not protected against his mean ways! WAS and TAS are lurking everywhere at every hour, i just found an old maple table that i'm gonna turn into necks and blocks, that oughta keep me fixed for a little while...aaaaahhhh
Author:  Louis Freilicher [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:46 am ]
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My name is Louis and I'm a wood-o-holic.......

Author:  Andy Zimmerman [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:50 am ]
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It is people Like Bob, and Shane and Brad and Steve that make finding a
cure so difficult.
PUSHERS!!!!! DEALERS!!!!!!!!!
Anything for a quick buck!!!!

Do we have any politicians out there that can put forth legistation to stop
these crooks!!!!!

Maybe my research some day will find a cure. Maybe just maybe!!!!

Remember to donate your Zoot to my research......I will find a cure.....I
promise...if it is the last thing I do!!!!

Andrew Zimmerman, M.D.
Director
W.A.S. Research Labsazimmer138860.7442361111
Author:  Serge Poirier [ Tue May 23, 2006 8:53 am ]
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Well Andy, i'd volontarily submit my zoot to your research lab if that would help save one soul but you'd have to pay the shipping for such a small stash that it ain't worth it .....aaaaaahhhhhh!
Author:  Michael McBroom [ Tue May 23, 2006 9:14 am ]
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Aw heck, Louis beat me to it. But since this is a group thing, I'll say it anyway:

My name is Michael, and I am a woodoholic.

Unfortunately, I must admit that my lapses are frequent. Even with no extra funds to spend, there are still ways to get a fix. For example, I have been known to scour the neighborhood on the day or two before "heavy trash day" (the one day a month that Houston residents can put their "heavy trash" out by the curb for pickup), looking for wood.

Just last month, as I was dragging out to the curb a worn-out but still functioning cheapo table saw and busted shop-vac, I spied a neighbor's pile of wood. It was a big pile. I had to look, and I'm glad I did. I "scored" about 10 bf of well-seasoned cherry along with several nice 1x8s of pine. Share and share alike -- later that day the table saw and shop vac were gone, picked up by another fellow scavenger.

Ah! I just remembered, heavy trash day is in two days! The neighbors are probably already starting to make their curbside piles. There's bound to be some decent wood in at least one of them.

My name is Michael and I am a . . .

Author:  Serge Poirier [ Tue May 23, 2006 9:18 am ]
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Thank you Michael... another WA wants to share his story?
Author:  Don Williams [ Tue May 23, 2006 9:46 am ]
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[QUOTE=konacat] It dawned on me the other day...it hit me. I have the first symptoms of wood acquisition syndrome.[/QUOTE]

You should carefully take note of the fact that you subconsciously did not capitalize the term "Wood Acquisition Syndrome". Indeed, it has been given this formal name by medical community. Note the testimony of an actual doctor earlier in this thread.
While you are beginning to realize your ailment, the evidence of the lack of capitalization shows that you are in obvious denial of the gravity of the disease.
This small amount of wood may seem insignificant, but in a few years, it will have taken over most of your basement and/or bathroom. There is no cure.

Doc Andy,
Sadly, the problem is similar to that of the illegal drug epidemic in this country. As long as there are people with the sickness, there are those who will take advantage of their condition and keep them supplied with the addictive substance. The only way to stop it is to eliminate the drug at the source. The problem here is that the drugs associated with W.A.S. are legal. There may be no hope at all.

Don Williams38860.7854398148
Author:  Dennis Leahy [ Tue May 23, 2006 10:08 am ]
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The only cure for Wood Acquisition Syndrome is death.

In the meantime, there is something you can do to help: build more wood racks at your shop. This, of course, does not help the WAS in any way, but it prevents a secondary infection, known as "piles."

Dennis

p.s. Since death is the only cure, and when you die you will leave behind your piles, each valuable chunk or set should be clearly marked as to their value. That way, your family members can redeem the piles of wood for piles of money. However, marking zoot wood with numerals that just any ol' snoopin' spouse can easily read can be extremely hazardous to your marriage, so you need to make up a code to represent numerals. The code key should be left in your safety deposit box, in a sealed envelope marked "In the event of my death."
Author:  FrankC [ Tue May 23, 2006 10:15 am ]
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Indian Rosewood is a gateway wood. You start there and end up at Brazilian. Poor Hesh.   
Author:  Alain Desforges [ Tue May 23, 2006 10:26 am ]
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I find it easier to fully embrace your WAS...

   Better to die a broken piece of Jade than to live a life of Clay... Alain Desforges38860.8112152778
Author:  Jim Kirby [ Tue May 23, 2006 10:32 am ]
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[QUOTE=azimmer1] As a physician I have researched W.A.S. extensively.
Currently I have 3 NIH grants devoted to this debilitating syndrome.
Respectfully
Andrew Zimmerman, M.D.
Director W.A.S. Research Labs.[/QUOTE]

Ummmm-hmmmm.... and the "supplies and expenses" budget lines for these grants look like what?

I can see the review board hearing now. "Yes sir, we found it necessary to first test subjects by close proximity to as wide a range of species as possible. After we found that the Brazilian variety of the Dalbergia genus was particularly apt to elicit debilitating tremors and hallucinatory responses, we felt it was necessary to conduct EXTENSIVE testing of a much wider range of subjects. Thus the need for a MUCH larger outlay for this particular species than originally anticipated...."

Of course, the real trouble starts when the photos of your lavish dinners in faraway places with Bob C and the like ... yes, we know how this all goes.
Author:  Bill Greene [ Tue May 23, 2006 11:40 am ]
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Thank God I found this thread. Just today - TODAY!!!! - I received my first parcel of zoot from the infamous dealer Bob. C.   I got Bubinga, Koa, Honduran Rosewood, Black Limba and Lutz top. And so far, I've quite literally fondled it like a man possessed. I've been pondering the kinds of binding that might go good with it, etc. Folks, I have to tell you...this is a real disease. No kidding. I wanted to RUSH to the computer and order more zoot. People, I've built ONE guitar and I already have enough wood to build 4 more. Life, as I've known it, is over.

If you are reading this, and have not yet been infected by zootaholism, do yourself a favor and immediately bash your computer into a thousand tiny fragments, and take up something like raquetball.

Bill, so...anybody lookin' for part-time help?

Author:  Bobc [ Tue May 23, 2006 11:51 am ]
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Just to show that I don't harbor any animosity towards my accusers I offer this quick fix.

Author:  RCoates [ Tue May 23, 2006 12:21 pm ]
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That is a funny pic of Bob... I realized my addiction and so did my wife when a few years ago we replaced our redwood fence. No sooner had the fencers left and I spied from my dining room a plank that was clearly covered in large rollong flame. I muttered something and ran to the garage to get the makita... My wife said to me "you need some help.
Author:  crich [ Tue May 23, 2006 12:42 pm ]
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I know how you feel Bill. I just finished one, my first, and now I lay in bed at night thinking about the wood I've seen on the zoot site. I used to think about girls, now it's wood! I must be getting old. P.S. My wife says it's all of your (OLF) fault.
Clinton
Author:  CarltonM [ Tue May 23, 2006 12:48 pm ]
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Hey, buddy...can ya spare a buck for some...uh...food?
Author:  Alain Desforges [ Tue May 23, 2006 1:37 pm ]
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Hesh, that is PRICELESS... The Pusher Man...   Ahh,... Thanks my friend, I really needed that... That is just too hilarious...
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