You know how whenever people talk about Walnut, somebody chimes in and says something like, "It's a dream to work with?" I was shaping a piece of Walnut today (by the way, it's a dream to work with), and started thinking of other slogans for wood species. Here are a few, for your entertainment.
"Bubinga. More than a wood. Less than a metal."
"That's not paint. It's Zebrano."
"Mahogany. The sound of Rock-n-Roll."
"Korina. When Mahogany's just not good enough."
"Alder. Good enough for Leo. Good enough for you."
"Koa. The sound of the islands."
"A little paint and no one will know...it's Poplar."
"Basswood. Shred away."
"Brazilian Rosewood. There's a reason it's extinct."
or
"Brazilian Rosewood. Yep, that's real Brazilian. It's been sitting in my Grandpa's shed for fifty years. No, I don't have any paperwork."
"Indian Rosewood. Not extinct. Yet."
or
"Indian Rosewood. Don't worry. The Feds have never even heard of you."
"Madagascar Rosewood. Act fast! Supplies are limited."
"It's Cocobolo. (Working with Cocobolo may cause allergic dermatitis and other health hazards. Please consult a physician before handling. The seller is not responsible for injury or death resultant to the customer as a direct result of touching Cocobolo. Cocobolo is not for actual woodworking, and is sold for novelty purposes only.)"
"Looks like Maple. Sounds like Maple. Feels like Canary."
"Pau Ferro. Some call it Morado. Some call it Bolivian Rosewood. We just call it awesome."
"Ebony. Black is beautiful."
"Lacewood. For the sensitive soul."
"Maple. Now available in Quilt, Curly, Spalted, and Birdseye."
Anybody else??
