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George Carlin's Views on Aging (and it's clean!)

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!   And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

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Dave Bland

remember...

"If it doesn't play in tune...it's just pretty wood"

On the bright side, Glad I'm still able to "MAKE" something even if it's 60. At least I haven't "HIT" anything yet, I still have that to look forward to. John How38366.4409837963

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Tickle your guitar daily, and it'll tickle you back.

Sooo True. Thanks for the chuckle Dave. Always liked George's witty commentary.

Thanks for the laugh ;) I was kind of having a grumpy morning until I read that..

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CVT Inc.
A tour of our shop (Somewhat outdated)
My Personal eBay profile. BCWoodBug

George Carkin makes interesting observations that are so true, of course I "turned 50" last year. Thanks Dave!

Three guys were discussing the discomforts of aging.

The 70 year old said, "I feel OK but I just wish I could empty my bladder like I used to."

The 80 year old said, "I don't have any problem with that. I just wish I could void my bowels regularly."

The 90 year old said, "I don't have either of those problems. Every morning I empty my bladder a 7:00 and I void my bowels at 8:00. I just wish I could get up before 9:00."

Didn't George also once say that the definition of old age was "when the hair on your head starts growing out your ears and nose". Or was it another comedian?

Hank (making it to 60 this year)