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You know how whenever people talk about Walnut, somebody chimes in and says something like, "It's a dream to work with?" I was shaping a piece of Walnut today (by the way, it's a dream to work with), and started thinking of other slogans for wood species. Here are a few, for your entertainment.

"Bubinga. More than a wood. Less than a metal."

"That's not paint. It's Zebrano."

"Mahogany. The sound of Rock-n-Roll."

"Korina. When Mahogany's just not good enough."

"Alder. Good enough for Leo. Good enough for you."

"Koa. The sound of the islands."

"A little paint and no one will know...it's Poplar."

"Basswood. Shred away."

"Brazilian Rosewood. There's a reason it's extinct."
or
"Brazilian Rosewood. Yep, that's real Brazilian. It's been sitting in my Grandpa's shed for fifty years. No, I don't have any paperwork."

"Indian Rosewood. Not extinct. Yet."
or
"Indian Rosewood. Don't worry. The Feds have never even heard of you."

"Madagascar Rosewood. Act fast! Supplies are limited."

"It's Cocobolo. (Working with Cocobolo may cause allergic dermatitis and other health hazards. Please consult a physician before handling. The seller is not responsible for injury or death resultant to the customer as a direct result of touching Cocobolo. Cocobolo is not for actual woodworking, and is sold for novelty purposes only.)"

"Looks like Maple. Sounds like Maple. Feels like Canary."

"Pau Ferro. Some call it Morado. Some call it Bolivian Rosewood. We just call it awesome."

"Ebony. Black is beautiful."

"Lacewood. For the sensitive soul."

"Maple. Now available in Quilt, Curly, Spalted, and Birdseye."


Anybody else??

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David Morris

This thread is tailor made for TonyInNYC, but I'll give it my best shot:

"I don't always use Mahogany when I build guitars, but when I do, I prefer Honduras." (the most interesting luthier in the world)

"For that next guitar, unless you have monkey brains, you'll use Monkey Pod!" (this would be the hard sell)

"Padauk. More than a marimba wood, it's a GUITAR wood."

"If it's not Brazilian, it's firewood." (any wood with the word "brazilian" in it.)

"Poplar. It's not just for chopsticks anymore!".

"Korina: The other Gibson wood."

"Badaboom, BadaBubinga!"

"Saved by Sitka!"

"And on the eighth day, God created Blackwood."

"Quilt Maple. When Flame Maple just isn't good enough."

"Be alive, with Swamp Ash."

"Nothing does it like Dalbergia!"

"The power of Purpleheart!"

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Old growth, shmold growth!

You should post this on the acoustic forum.

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Old growth, shmold growth!

You've been writing for "Mad Men", haven't ya?

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"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

I'll add a few to this list.

"Wenge. A pain to plane, but worth it for the grain."

"Burl. The mother of all figures."
or
"Burl. Enough said"

'Spanish cedar. Not Spanish, not cedar, not bad"

I lol'd on this one.

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David Morris

I can hardly wait for TonyinNYC's ideas here, too, but I'll play:

Black Locust: "North America's answer to BRW, if you can get past the color."

Osage Orange: "Just like Brazillian that grew beside a nuclear plant."

Bubinga: "An easy sell if you call it the wrong name." (African Rosewood)

Burl: "For a whole new set of finishing and/or stability problems."

Koa: "Grown off the continent. Priced out of this world."

Alder: "The best tonewood the lumber store has to offer."

"when you're to cheap for mahogany, there's always walnut"

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~shad peters

http://www.flickr.com/photos/petersinstruments/
http://petersinstruments.blogspot.com/
http://petersinstruments.com/

Padauk ..... when shop cleaness isnt an issue !

Indian Rosewood ........ Hello , Names Lacey and I have a package for you !

Poplar ...... can be used for bracing , shhhhhhhhh dont tell

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The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
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The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
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Yeoooooowch! Say hello to Wenge, the African Splinter Wood.

Boy - that one's on the money!

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"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

If it ain't hard enough, there's always Ipe!

Rosewood: doesnt smell as good as it sounds

I disagree. I love the smell of that stuff.

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~shad peters

http://www.flickr.com/photos/petersinstruments/
http://petersinstruments.blogspot.com/
http://petersinstruments.com/

Ovangkol - If your shop is too crowded....
Zebrawood - Looks like a zebra, smells like what the zebra left behind.....

Mesquite: When things go wrong, throw it in the chipper and make dinner

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Jim Hansen

+1
In fact, i was going to suggest "Stop and smell the rosewoods"

Yeah... Now that's a slogan.

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David Morris

Mahogany Hunduras, enough said.

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TONY!!!!
Lay 'em on us, man......

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Old growth, shmold growth!

Padauk- looks good at first.
Purple heart, same thing!
Maple- no pore filling!
Mahog- 2 many pores.
Red oak- I've built way too many cabinets out of that, choking on oak.
BRW- move on!
Wenge- way 2 many pores.
Purple heart-same thing.
Fir for an acoustic top- too scared to try.
Redwood for an acoustic top- same thing.
Cedar for an acoustic top- same thing.
Figured wood- everybody's using it, I love it, but I'm a non-conformer.

"Alder: Good enough for Leo, because it's dirt cheap."

I have to apologize for my tardiness in joining this thread! I was recently alerted to its existence and I am at a loss. I will put on my thinking cap and come back with something.

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http://www.CostaGuitars.com
PMoMC

Orange you glad you just sanded the vermillion?

Pine - Iiiiiiiiiiits wood! (you have to imagine Tony the Tiger doing it)

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Mike Hoenerhoff
Elderly Instruments